yesterday i decided it was time to clean out my email inbox. i know gmail has basically unlimited storage and whenever i go to log in there is a reminder that i am only using 18% of my 7,540 megabytes of space (and counting). but i will always be an organization addict at heart, and so felt the urge to weed through some 3,000 emails dating back to 2006. you can learn a lot about yourself and your friends by doing this, and i thought i would share my favorite moments (yes, my favorite moments from my own email...technology makes my life better):
1) i announced my engagement in december 2006 to my friends with a subject line that read "drumroll please"
2) evan and i apparently went through a stage when we called each other "baby" in emails. i think "babe" is ok. cliche and overused by uncreative couples everywhere, but ok. but baby, seriously? interesting.
3) my mom has sent me tons of emails with photos attached over the years, which is great and sweet. however, most of them have really nondescript titles like "pics 9" and "those photos you asked for"
4) i tend to star a lot of emails as important and even mark them as unread so i won't forget to read them later and then i forget to read them later. i am much better at this now, and i think cleaning out the clutter will help even more. although i like typing because i can say what i want quickly without forgetting anything, i still enjoy the old-fashioned hand written note. so stone age, i know.
5) i email myself sites and links A LOT. it's kind of sad when about 30% of your messages are from "me", and that when i go to type someones name that starts with an "m" into the recipient line, my name pops up first. why is gmail so smart? i do however like the fact that yesterday i was sending an email that was supposed to have an attachment, and of course i forgot to attach it. when i went to click send a pop-up came up that said "gmail noticed that in your note you said 'i am attaching the files' yet did not attach anything. would you like to attach files now?" wow. these guys are good.
6) i went through a point in my life right after graduating from college where i was looking for a music job pretty hardcore. i have about six months worth of emails relating to music positions and sites for musicians, recording albums and looking for venues. i think this was the beginning of actually doing something about feeling like i didn't know where i was going or who i was.
7) i also went through a hardcore food/vegan/"save the earth" stage about 8 months ago. i again have a whole slew of emails from yours truly with titles like "oklahoma farms that sell real whole milk" (who am i?), "raw food" (there were a bunch of variations on this one- tried it, really hard to make and do consistently and non-expensively), "vegan blogs", "local farmers markets", etc, etc. i will say however that this stage was good in a way because it did get me thinking a lot more about the things i eat and how they affect me. it was during this time that evan and i were attempting to do p90x, and i thought it would be a great idea to not only attempt the most intense workout known to man led by one of the most obnoxious men ever to grace a dvd, but also to try simultaneously become a no sugar, no sweets, no white flour, no salt vegan while evan pursued a high protein, plate-sized portions meat diet. they went really well together. let's just say that our food bill was about doubled for a month or two, lots of tears were shed by me as i got super emotional about animals and the environment and how meat was killing evan (oh ps- another one of those email titles was "how to deal with a husband who won't conform to your way of eating" ...i'm 100% serious), and i bought a dehydrator. yes, a 9 tray, really big, really impulsive buy dehydrator. i made one batch of sun dried tomatoes in it, and it has sat in the entry way to our apartment gathering dust ever since. go me.
8) i tend to be the type of person who really pursues things all out. i find a restaurant or meal that i like, and i want to eat there literally every night for the rest of my life (which is funny since i am married to someone who has zero favorites). i also get bored with things quickly. great combo. me: "we've eaten there like 4 times this month, why are we going again?" evan: "because you really like them and didn't like the other suggestions." and then we usually eat a frozen pizza. i do not go clothes shopping very often because of this. i love clothes, but if i give myself the freedom to buy one thing it turns into 12 very quickly, so i avoid it. i think a lot of this latching and de-latching has not played out well in attempting to find a hobby or career-path that is really fulfilling to me. i think a lot of times i have thought i knew what i wanted, but really didn't, so i bounced and dabbled, and worked on narrowing down my likes. i will also fiercely defend my likes to a fault. evan always smiles when i start to say that i like a particular thing, food, or restaurant (i really have a thing for food apparently) and i am so thankful that he understands my all-in or all-out nature. i do not feel this way towards people, and he is one person in my life that i am incredibly confident about and will like forever.
9) i have a really great partner. he writes me the sweetest emails and notes just because. i was actually lying in bed last night thinking about how crazy it would be if you could hear everything everyone said about you when you weren't around (yes this is my brain a lot- very random). i got all depressed cause i know that i have said or done things that would definitely make someone say something not so nice about me. but i really don't think too many people have said anything mean about evan. and i know that is a ridiculous thing to say and now everyone is going to be trying really hard to think about something they don't like about him, but seriously he is the best. and when it comes to people and relationships, he is stellar because he really really truly cares about people. i have learned a lot from him. sorry ladies, he's taken. BOOM!
10) i can slowly see myself "becoming" through my email inbox. i see someone who stumbles around a lot and says and tried weird things, but all in an attempt to become better, explore, and begin to finally settle on something to pursue passionately. and i am so passionate about where i am going and becoming.
so who knew gmail could be so telling? it's like a little archival gem in the internet world.
thank you google for unlimited storage that i will probably never need. thank you evan for picking me and being my best friend. thank you me for sending myself so many emails so that i can laugh at how ridiculous i can be. thank you photography for waiting so patiently.
i erased almost all of my inbox. i kept some emails in 2 folders titled "evan" and "photography".
my two loves. i put evan's name on top.